


My Story as the Villain

by CoriTheReader



Series: A Time for Ourselves [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Family, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Protective Deceit | Janus Sanders, Sad Deceit | Janus Sanders, Sympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:28:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24545413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoriTheReader/pseuds/CoriTheReader
Summary: I always knew that Thomas and the Other Sides need a villain, somebody to hate, somebody to fight. I just never thought that playing that role would hurt me so harshly. This is my side of the story, my last cry for help, my last chance to show the Sides that I have regretted the things I've said, the things I've done. Maybe this will help them learn I'm not so bad, maybe this will help them learn that I never meant to hurt them the way I did.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Series: A Time for Ourselves [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1806982
Comments: 15
Kudos: 19





	1. Chapter 1

This is my story, the story of the villain. Ever since Thomas was young, I knew that Thomas would need a villain, something to help him define his "good and bad". Patton is his "good" side, not that Patton is bad, just that those definitions depend entirely on your perspective. I, Deceit, was seen as bad, the thing not to do. That's why I took up the mantel of the villain. At first, it wasn't too bad, I had Virgil and Remus, for I time I was also close (at least as close as I could be to the "good" sides) with Logan and Roman. Patton and I weren't close, but he also didn't hate me either. As Thomas got older, his morals also solidified more, thus creating a rift between Roman and Remus and Patton and me. Patton and I were never close, even as children, but when Patton solidified his belief that I was bad, Logan followed. 

Before Roman and Remus' relationship burst, I got some acting tips from Roman, Remus might be creativity, but he was never given the proper amount of attention to reach the level of success in acting and singing as Roman did. Remus' only weak point is probably that, he was the unwanted brother. He is still trying to work through his insecurity of being the second-best, the back-up plan, the discount Roman. I'm trying to help him work past it, but I don't think he will be able to work past it until Roman or Thomas can help him reach a level nearer to Roman's. I've tried to teach him what I know in the acting department, deceiving and manipulating is not far from acting, they are closely related, but they aren't the same.

Even though I feel bad about it, I'm glad that Roman and Remus aren't close anymore. It's a horrible feeling, but if Roman started paying more attention to me then he might be able to see past my act. An act that I have done for so long that it has become a part of me. An act that slowly devours any good part of me. I've lost all hope in being able to keep the last relationship that I have, Remus. Pretty soon the Sides will accept him, just like Virgil, but he won't be able to leave until I push him away. If I don't, it will take longer, which means that Remus will struggle through his problems longer, and they -being the Sides- will try to help both of us. I won't be able to be the villain anymore. Patton will become confused, which will confuse Roman who strictly follows Patton's moral code, which in turn will stress-out Virgil, and will drive Thomas into chaos for an unspecified amount of time. Thomas would solely rely on Logan, but that could put a severe strain on Thomas's relationships and would stress everybody, which would most likely cause Remus to spread his ideas and cause Roman and the other Sides to be irritated with Remus further and destroy any past progress and limit future progress. 

Maybe I've been influenced by Virgil too much, but I know that I have to keep playing the villain, even if it destroys me.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We find out that the Sides are going to be on Thomas' channel, but not all of us made the cut.

“Hey, Janus! Logan said that the Sides were going to be on Thomas’ channel! Isn’t that great! It will be the perfect time to send some pleasantly surprising thoughts his way, don’t you agree?” I turned, looking toward Remus, who was grinning mischievously in the doorway. I don’t think he knew that we weren’t going to be on the show yet. I would rather not be the one to tell him, but I knew that he would take it best from me or Virgil. We at least understand -as much as somebody can understand Remus’ chaos- what would happen to his mood. The only thing was that Virgil was busy having a panic attack and giving Thomas doubts about how good of an idea this would be.

“Remus- Remus I don’t think that we are invited to this party just yet. At least, not in the capacity you are thinking.” I softened my gaze in empathy, I knew what it was like to feel left out, but I forget that Remus wasn’t left out much when he was younger. That is a good thing, but it does mean that he hasn’t developed the same resilience and expectation of being excluded. I could bet that this new series was Roman’s idea that the others expanded on, so I knew it was no accident that Remus and I weren’t invited. I don’t know if Virgil is invited or not. For as far as I can tell, there is a chemistry between Virgil and Roman that neither is aware of or are against acknowledging.

Remus looked destroyed, he glanced away from me, not wanting me to see the hurt lying in his eyes. “Remus, we don’t need them, they can go-” I left the quote open to Remus, he loved to curse. It should’ve cheered him up, but instead: “Deceit, that’s why we weren’t invited. That’s why Roman won’t let us join.” Remus sounded so dejected. He was constantly trying to best his brother while still standing in his shadow. He loved being himself, but he also wanted to be better than his twin, something that would be impossible. Remus is an octopus and Roman is an eagle, both majestic creatures, but compared to one another you cannot come to a complete conclusion. Put the octopus in the sky and it will fall; put the eagle in the water and it will drown.

Though it’s the talent that Remus is trying to procure, he is going about it in the wrong way and every time I tell him that, he refuses to listen. It hurts to see him struggle with that, but I can’t help him any further, not without Roman -on somedays, he refuses to even acknowledge his twin. “Well Remus, I suppose then that we must take up the mantles of good and fight the evil, wait, who would we fight? I suppose we could always fight the coffee table, it keeps tripping me on my way to the kitchen, or we could fight…” I stopped talking when I saw Remus’ gaze, it was more broken then I had ever seen, the only time it was worse than now was when Roman first rejected Remus.

“Janus, I don’t want to be in second place anymore-” I interrupted him, “Remus, you are not second place, you are always the first place to Virgil and me, that is when Virgil isn’t yelling at you for pissing off Patton and making Virgil get out of bed.” I laughed, brightening at the slight upturn in the corners of Remus’ mouth. “Virgil does get upset when I do that,” he responded, “he hates being woken up, especially by Patton.” 

“Or when he’s wearing his pajamas and Roman starts singing at midnight, so he has to burst into his room to get him to make his walls soundproof. I swear Roman only takes the soundproofing off of his walls to fuck with Virgil,” I say laughing, hoping desperately that Virgil and Roman can’t hear me. “Roman only loses the soundproofing when Virgil is wearing a onesie, which makes it even more irritating for Virgil because he gets embarrassed when the Sides see him as anything less than a terrifying force of evil,” Remus continues, cheering up more. Virgil hates being humanized by the others, I think he’s scared -not scared, terrified- of being connected to someone. He’s already nervous being close to Remus and me, mainly me, and he’s been tight with us for his whole life. 

“His High Lord Duke Remus, would you honor me -and eventually Virgil after he stops panicking- with a game of Solar Quest?” I figured now, while he forgot about the web show, would be a good time to engage him in another activity, something that would disrupt his doubt better than a soon-to-be-dead conversation. He has difficulty staying engaged for very long in deep conversations, board games let him vent about problems through ruthless competition with no consequences, and he always takes full advantage of those opportunities.

“My peasant underling, I will indeed grace you with a game of Questing for the Solar, though be aware that you shall not beat your lord, the Duke,” he said laughing, being talked to in a bad Shakespearean impression was a sure-fire way to make him laugh, one that I used often. I pulled out the board, and as Remus made his second move, I noticed Virgil returning to the common area that connects with the “Dark Sides” rooms, where we were playing. “Yo, Virg, you want to join?” I asked, patting the seat next to me. 

He joins us, grabbing the purple ship, placing it on Earth, where my yellow ship and Remus’ green ship started. We sat and played Solar Quest for the next couple hours, Remus playing much more strategically than normal, signaling he was still stressed, but as the games continued he calmed and lost tension. Virgil kept glancing nervously at Remus, but after Remus visibly loosened, he calmed down as well.

Half-way through our third game, once I thought Remus would be okay to start addressing the web series, I asked Remus what he was thinking of keeping Thomas awake with tonight, seeing as he took the gaming break. Virgil groaned, throwing his head back and scowled at me, “Are you trying to keep me awake all night?” Remus started hysterically laughing, after a minute I joined in. While we howled like dying hyenas, Virgil put his head in his hands in disappointment. Virgil knew that he would be getting poor sleep or a panicking Patton, neither was ideal for him, but the latter was hilarious for the rest of us. 

After we finished our third game -more accurately after Virgil got flustered and argued with Remus about why he had to curse so much-, we put the game away and I summoned some warm chocolate-chip cookies for us to eat. “What movie do you want to watch?” I questioned. “We could watch a Disney movie.” Virgil was rather hopeful, we all enjoyed Disney, it wasn’t like we were going to say no. “Which one?” Remus responded. 

I smiled fondly at the others, who fell asleep while we watched Princess and the Frog. I looked toward the door, putting on the facade of Patton, something that was sure to make him angry. Part of a great deception was knowledge, without that, any act would fail. I had to know what this series would be about, and with that, I walked over to the light side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, y’all! I’m so sorry I haven’t updated recently. I have some personal issues I’m dealing with that are making it difficult to update regularly. I’m actively trying to make more time for writing this fanfic. Also, regarding everybody knowing Virgil’s name, I am hoping to start another fanfiction from Virgil’s POV where that will be answered. The progression of Prinxiety will be sped up slightly, but not a lot. If y’all like the idea of another story, let me know. It will not change the rate of updates on this story, but I want to know if it will y’all would enjoy it. I hope you enjoy it and thanks for all the support!
> 
> X  
> -CoriTheReader


	3. Author's Note

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is just a little clearing up on my part and an update to how I think things will go forward with this story.

For this story I will try to update every week, this won't always be possible, but I will try. Secondly, the story I proposed in the last chapter has become a reality. "Anxiety's Fall" follows Virgil and Roman's story and it will tie in with this story. I am planning a third story, which is not currently titled, that follows Logan and Patton. It will also continue with "Anxiety's Fall" and "My Story as the Villian". These three stories are related and though I recommend reading them together, it is not necessary to enjoy this story or the others. These can all be read independently.

I also want to explain the lore the way I understand it. The Sides all feel different emotions, but they have a heightened sense of one emotion compared to others. For example, Virgil feels happiness and excitement, but he feels anxiety and stress more strongly and focuses on those emotions more than others. He feels Thomas's anxiety and can provide anxiety as well. I hope that clears things up a bit. The same goes for the other Sides respectively. 

I hope you enjoy this story and the others I have published or will publish. Thank you reading! If you read this whole thing then put your favorite Side on the comments. If you can't decide -like me- then put your least favorite or the Side you relate to most. 

X

-CoriTheReader

Postscript- I know author's notes are annoying, but it does help us and (hopefully) you understand or emphasize important information.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope y'all are enjoying this story and if y'all have questions, just leave them in the comments. I hope this cleared things up, I just noticed that the way I see the lore -if that's the right term- of the Sides isn't the way everybody sees it. Once again, thanks y'all! 
> 
> X  
> -CoriTheReader

**Author's Note:**

> This is my take on Janus' story. You don't have to agree with me, but I hope you enjoy the story nonetheless. I will try to stay with the canon information we have so far (as of 6/4/2020), so some information might not be entirely up-to-date, but I will try my hardest to keep the story accurate to canon.  
> X  
> -CoriTheReader


End file.
